alexandra_thorn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
alexandra_thorn) wrote2024-11-22 05:54 pm
alexandra_thorn) wrote2024-11-22 05:54 pm
Entry tags:
Post-election conversations (2 weeks in)
On November 9th, I wrote a post about my intention to start holding semi-structured conversations in which I invite people to share their perspectives, values, and priorities (https://alexandra-thorn.dreamwidth.org/57299.html).
I put out feelers via various platforms and so far have a list of over twenty individuals who expressed interest in participating in something like this. I'm hoping to do more than that in the long run, so if you're interested, please let me know!
Why I'm doing this
I've had a couple of people ask me what I'm trying to accomplish with these conversations, and really there are a number of different answers to that question.
Goals include:
* Learn more about where other people are coming from so that I can develop a better-informed outlook
* Help people brainstorm next steps and find ways to support people to do work in whatever their areas of concern might be
* Maybe identify groups of people with similar priorities who might want to connect
* Learn about what actions people are taking based on different priorities to be able to share this information with others
* Learn about any needs that individuals might have to help think about structural approaches to supporting those needs
Ultimately, I expect for each conversation to be a little bit different and for the ideal "outcomes" to depend on the person I'm speaking with. For people with more action-oriented goals, I've borrowed some ideas from the volunteer-recruiting deep-canvass style conversations I've done through phone banking, helping them to explore directions for their activities (some of the questions get at these kinds of topics), but in many cases it really is just about being together and listening.
Conversations so far
Last week I had four one-on-one conversations over Zoom, each about an hour long. This week I did another one in person, for a total of five semi-structured conversations so far. Also, one person I spoke with last week asked for the opportunity to ask the same questions of me, and we did so this past week.
I'm hoping to hold two more one-on-one conversations in the week ahead, and am still working on scheduling for the weeks beyond.
The people I've spoken to so far are all white, relatively privileged, and Democratic voters, but otherwise are coming from different places and are focusing on different things.
Most were my generation (Gen Y / Millennial) or younger, but I've spoken to one Boomer. Several are necessarily focused on immediate challenges---such health issues and caring for others---while others are doing more general stock-taking, thinking about building relationships, and/or about positive actions they can take in the world. As noted, all individuals tend to identify with the leftish end of the U.S. political spectrum, although one self-identifies as more of a centrist.
Each person I've spoken to seemed to get something a bit different out of the conversation, and likewise, I've gotten different things from each conversation. However, almost everyone I've had one of these conversations with specifically expressed appreciation of having a guiding structure. This was a little bit of a surprise for me, because I had guessed that some would prefer to just chat less formally, especially because these are people that I know pretty well.
In a couple of cases, planning for the conversation and then discussing afterward has generated long interesting email threads, such as I don't think I've had in probably over a decade. In some ways that feels to me like coming home. Email used to be my happy place, but it's felt less that way lately. It's really nice to once again suddenly have things in my inbox that I look forward to engaging with, or conversations that don't quickly peter out.
One of the people I spoke to is now planning to similar conversations with members of his own family, and I've given him permission to use my script, and to adapt as he sees fit.
I'm also including my script below, in case others would like to make use of it. The script isn't anything magical, just some topics I came up with in the days before the first semi-structured conversation. I might change it in the future, and others should also free to make any changes that they like.
I'd love to hear from anyone who decides to do something similar; there might be ways we can pool resources!
My script
Below is the script I use. (Text in square brackets ('[]') provide general instructions/reference information for the person using the script, and are not meant to be read aloud.)
1) Brief check-in
[I use this time for general "hi how are you" preliminaries, which so far have typically taken 10-15 minutes.]
2) Opening statement:
Thanks for meeting with me. These conversations are a bit of an experiment, and there are a lot of things that I'm still figuring out.
I had someone ask about what I'm trying to accomplish, and I don't really think there's a single answer. Goals include:
* Learn more about where other people are coming from so that I can develop a better-informed outlook
* Help people brainstorm next steps and find ways to support people to do work in whatever their areas of concern might be
* Maybe identify groups of people with similar priorities who might want to connect
* Learn about what actions people are taking based on different priorities to be able to share this information with others
* Learn about any needs that individuals might have to help think about structural approaches to supporting those needs
I've prepared some questions in advance, but we don't need follow my question list or stick to any pre-defined script. You and I can remove, add, edit, or reorder questions however we like. I'll also want to chat briefly about ground rules before we get into the main part of the discussion. All parts of this conversation are optional, so if at any point you want to skip a question, move on from a topic, or end the conversation entirely, just let me know. We can also decide whether it's more comfortable for me to pose each of the questions for you to respond to, or for us each to respond to all questions.
Do you have any questions for me at this point?
3) Introducing topics and setting norms
The two things I'd like to do next are to establish norms for the conversation, and to review the questions together to see if there are any changes we'd like to make. Which would you like to look at first?
[adjust order accordingly]
i. Norms to consider:
* Privacy level -
- e.g. completely private; ok to share general impressions but not specific stories; ok to share stories as long as they remain anonymous; public unless specified otherwise; expectations about attribution of ideas (etc.)
- is it ok if I take notes?
* Taking breaks (any norms around how to do this)
* Handling any challenging moments or conflicts
ii. Read through questions (next section) & Discuss any changes
Guiding questions
[The questions are organized into themes: checking in, observations about changes in the world, values, translating values into action, what do you want others to know, and whether there should be any follow-up]
* Checking in:
- How are you doing?
- How are things with the people close to you?
* Observations about changes:
- What do you see as the big changes---up to the present---that are happening or have happened in the world?
- Are there things that have improved in recent years? Gotten worse?
- What worries you?
- What gives you hope?
* Values:
- Take a moment to think about what you value about your life, yourself, and your relationships to others, then describe in a few words what is important to you (you can interpret this question however you wish)
- Are there changes you wish you could make in the world or in life?
- What do you appreciate about the way things are now?
* Values and action
- How do your values inform your daily life?
- Are there particular organizations or groups that you work with or give to?
- Are there any changes you wish you could make? If so, is there anything that would make these changes easier?
* What do you want others to know?
* Are you interested in follow-up conversations (either one-on-one or in small groups)?
- With me?
- With people with shared priorities?
- With people different from yourself?
Some comments on how I've used the script
Just as each person I've talked to is different, I've conducted each conversation a little differently. Different people have different preferences, and I also try to feel out how the conversation is going and make adjustments accordingly. I also watch the time so that I can streamline, skip, or combine questions to try to keep things within an hour. Timing hasn't always come out perfectly, and the one in-person conversation I've had went substantially longer, I think partly because of the difference in social context.
In general, I try *not* to read the script, but rather to use it as a kind of guide, although some conversation partners seemed more interested in sticking to exact questions, and I've made adjustments accordingly.
When I get to a question and have the impression that we've already covered it, I say so, but (if time allows) I also try to also give space in case they want to add anything else in response to the question.
The conversations I've had have tended toward an interview structure, with me asking questions and my partner answering them, but if it feels natural to weigh in with some of my own thoughts I do so. Very often I ask follow-up questions. The conversation is about the other person, so even when sharing my own thoughts I do what I can to be respectful and to keep the focus on them.
Again, each conversation is unique, but in very general terms, a timeline for one-hour conversation might go something like this:
* 10-15 minutes: Greeting, informal check-in
* 5-10 minutes: Opening statement, discuss norms and read over questions (I let them choose which to do first)
* 30-35 minutes: Conversation based on the guiding questions
* ~2-5 minutes: thanks and farewells
For Zoom calls, I keep the script open as a shared document, and share my screen briefly when we discuss norms read over the questions, but then stop sharing my screen before we start to actually go through the guided questions. I also provide them with a link to the document.
------
Tip jar
Over the past two weeks, I've dedicated around 12 hours to this project. It's a labor of love, and it's definitely rewarding, but it also is significant emotional labor.
If you'd like to leave a small tip, you can do so here: https://ko-fi.com/alex_conversations
I put out feelers via various platforms and so far have a list of over twenty individuals who expressed interest in participating in something like this. I'm hoping to do more than that in the long run, so if you're interested, please let me know!
Why I'm doing this
I've had a couple of people ask me what I'm trying to accomplish with these conversations, and really there are a number of different answers to that question.
Goals include:
* Learn more about where other people are coming from so that I can develop a better-informed outlook
* Help people brainstorm next steps and find ways to support people to do work in whatever their areas of concern might be
* Maybe identify groups of people with similar priorities who might want to connect
* Learn about what actions people are taking based on different priorities to be able to share this information with others
* Learn about any needs that individuals might have to help think about structural approaches to supporting those needs
Ultimately, I expect for each conversation to be a little bit different and for the ideal "outcomes" to depend on the person I'm speaking with. For people with more action-oriented goals, I've borrowed some ideas from the volunteer-recruiting deep-canvass style conversations I've done through phone banking, helping them to explore directions for their activities (some of the questions get at these kinds of topics), but in many cases it really is just about being together and listening.
Conversations so far
Last week I had four one-on-one conversations over Zoom, each about an hour long. This week I did another one in person, for a total of five semi-structured conversations so far. Also, one person I spoke with last week asked for the opportunity to ask the same questions of me, and we did so this past week.
I'm hoping to hold two more one-on-one conversations in the week ahead, and am still working on scheduling for the weeks beyond.
The people I've spoken to so far are all white, relatively privileged, and Democratic voters, but otherwise are coming from different places and are focusing on different things.
Most were my generation (Gen Y / Millennial) or younger, but I've spoken to one Boomer. Several are necessarily focused on immediate challenges---such health issues and caring for others---while others are doing more general stock-taking, thinking about building relationships, and/or about positive actions they can take in the world. As noted, all individuals tend to identify with the leftish end of the U.S. political spectrum, although one self-identifies as more of a centrist.
Each person I've spoken to seemed to get something a bit different out of the conversation, and likewise, I've gotten different things from each conversation. However, almost everyone I've had one of these conversations with specifically expressed appreciation of having a guiding structure. This was a little bit of a surprise for me, because I had guessed that some would prefer to just chat less formally, especially because these are people that I know pretty well.
In a couple of cases, planning for the conversation and then discussing afterward has generated long interesting email threads, such as I don't think I've had in probably over a decade. In some ways that feels to me like coming home. Email used to be my happy place, but it's felt less that way lately. It's really nice to once again suddenly have things in my inbox that I look forward to engaging with, or conversations that don't quickly peter out.
One of the people I spoke to is now planning to similar conversations with members of his own family, and I've given him permission to use my script, and to adapt as he sees fit.
I'm also including my script below, in case others would like to make use of it. The script isn't anything magical, just some topics I came up with in the days before the first semi-structured conversation. I might change it in the future, and others should also free to make any changes that they like.
I'd love to hear from anyone who decides to do something similar; there might be ways we can pool resources!
My script
Below is the script I use. (Text in square brackets ('[]') provide general instructions/reference information for the person using the script, and are not meant to be read aloud.)
1) Brief check-in
[I use this time for general "hi how are you" preliminaries, which so far have typically taken 10-15 minutes.]
2) Opening statement:
Thanks for meeting with me. These conversations are a bit of an experiment, and there are a lot of things that I'm still figuring out.
I had someone ask about what I'm trying to accomplish, and I don't really think there's a single answer. Goals include:
* Learn more about where other people are coming from so that I can develop a better-informed outlook
* Help people brainstorm next steps and find ways to support people to do work in whatever their areas of concern might be
* Maybe identify groups of people with similar priorities who might want to connect
* Learn about what actions people are taking based on different priorities to be able to share this information with others
* Learn about any needs that individuals might have to help think about structural approaches to supporting those needs
I've prepared some questions in advance, but we don't need follow my question list or stick to any pre-defined script. You and I can remove, add, edit, or reorder questions however we like. I'll also want to chat briefly about ground rules before we get into the main part of the discussion. All parts of this conversation are optional, so if at any point you want to skip a question, move on from a topic, or end the conversation entirely, just let me know. We can also decide whether it's more comfortable for me to pose each of the questions for you to respond to, or for us each to respond to all questions.
Do you have any questions for me at this point?
3) Introducing topics and setting norms
The two things I'd like to do next are to establish norms for the conversation, and to review the questions together to see if there are any changes we'd like to make. Which would you like to look at first?
[adjust order accordingly]
i. Norms to consider:
* Privacy level -
- e.g. completely private; ok to share general impressions but not specific stories; ok to share stories as long as they remain anonymous; public unless specified otherwise; expectations about attribution of ideas (etc.)
- is it ok if I take notes?
* Taking breaks (any norms around how to do this)
* Handling any challenging moments or conflicts
ii. Read through questions (next section) & Discuss any changes
Guiding questions
[The questions are organized into themes: checking in, observations about changes in the world, values, translating values into action, what do you want others to know, and whether there should be any follow-up]
* Checking in:
- How are you doing?
- How are things with the people close to you?
* Observations about changes:
- What do you see as the big changes---up to the present---that are happening or have happened in the world?
- Are there things that have improved in recent years? Gotten worse?
- What worries you?
- What gives you hope?
* Values:
- Take a moment to think about what you value about your life, yourself, and your relationships to others, then describe in a few words what is important to you (you can interpret this question however you wish)
- Are there changes you wish you could make in the world or in life?
- What do you appreciate about the way things are now?
* Values and action
- How do your values inform your daily life?
- Are there particular organizations or groups that you work with or give to?
- Are there any changes you wish you could make? If so, is there anything that would make these changes easier?
* What do you want others to know?
* Are you interested in follow-up conversations (either one-on-one or in small groups)?
- With me?
- With people with shared priorities?
- With people different from yourself?
Some comments on how I've used the script
Just as each person I've talked to is different, I've conducted each conversation a little differently. Different people have different preferences, and I also try to feel out how the conversation is going and make adjustments accordingly. I also watch the time so that I can streamline, skip, or combine questions to try to keep things within an hour. Timing hasn't always come out perfectly, and the one in-person conversation I've had went substantially longer, I think partly because of the difference in social context.
In general, I try *not* to read the script, but rather to use it as a kind of guide, although some conversation partners seemed more interested in sticking to exact questions, and I've made adjustments accordingly.
When I get to a question and have the impression that we've already covered it, I say so, but (if time allows) I also try to also give space in case they want to add anything else in response to the question.
The conversations I've had have tended toward an interview structure, with me asking questions and my partner answering them, but if it feels natural to weigh in with some of my own thoughts I do so. Very often I ask follow-up questions. The conversation is about the other person, so even when sharing my own thoughts I do what I can to be respectful and to keep the focus on them.
Again, each conversation is unique, but in very general terms, a timeline for one-hour conversation might go something like this:
* 10-15 minutes: Greeting, informal check-in
* 5-10 minutes: Opening statement, discuss norms and read over questions (I let them choose which to do first)
* 30-35 minutes: Conversation based on the guiding questions
* ~2-5 minutes: thanks and farewells
For Zoom calls, I keep the script open as a shared document, and share my screen briefly when we discuss norms read over the questions, but then stop sharing my screen before we start to actually go through the guided questions. I also provide them with a link to the document.
------
Tip jar
Over the past two weeks, I've dedicated around 12 hours to this project. It's a labor of love, and it's definitely rewarding, but it also is significant emotional labor.
If you'd like to leave a small tip, you can do so here: https://ko-fi.com/alex_conversations